The Painful Realism of Remaining Sin

"If I could be paid to work on nothing but my sanctification 24 hours a day - I would take the job." These words were spoken often by a pastor whom I admire greatly and esteem as a very godly man. They were words not spoken "for effect" or in hyperbolic language. But these words came from a painful realism of remaining sin. That although he was saved by grace, indwelt by the Spirit, and possessed a new nature which desired above all things to glorify and love Christ - yet, there was that ever-nagging presence and frustrating reminder that he was nowhere near the promised perfection of bearing perfectly the image of Jesus Christ (Rom.7:14-25; 8:29). The principle of sin or "the flesh" (Rom.7:17,18, 23; Gal.5:16-21) still remained in him with a powerful pulling force in all his thoughts, words, and actions. Henceforth, there was still so much sanctifying yet to be done!

Over 200 years ago, another faithful and godly pastor shared the same sentiment as this fellow pastor. In a letter to a Christian brother concerning this problem with indwelling sin in the believer, John Newton, echoed the agony of every child of God. What I appreciate so much about Newton's letter on the subject of remaining sin, is his sheer honesty with his own struggles and the courage and openness about it which he communicates to this inquiring brother. How refreshing it would be to see all pastors (myself included) emulate this kind of much needed integrity & humility! This is not to say that all pastors are a bunch of liars about their sanctification or that they must be an open book for all to see their every sinful struggle - but, what pastors can learn from Newton on this point is the importance and healthiness of humbling themselves before others and saying, "I sin too. And like you, I must trust everyday in the blood and righteousness of Christ as my only hope and confidence for being right with God."

Now in a series of three letters, John Newton described the basic struggle all Christians have with remaining sin, his own personal struggles with it, and then the advantages a believer gains in Christ from this life-long problem. In my last post, I covered Newton's first letter which dealt with the basic struggle all Christians face everyday with indwelling sin. In this present post, I want to consider his second letter, which is an open window into Newton's own heart and the fights and fits he had there over remaining sin.

He bases this second letter on Romans 7:19, where Paul the apostle confessed his own nagging problems with the down drag of remaining sin: "...but the evil I will not to do, that I practice." From this passage, John Newton unveiled his heart:

I would not be the sport and prey of wild, vain, foolish, and worse imaginations; but this evil is present with me: my heart is like a highway, like a city without walls or gates. Nothing so false, so frivolous, so absurd, so impossible, or so horrid, but it can obtain access, and that at any time, or in any place: neither the study, the pulpit, or even the Lord's table, exempt me from their intrusion.

These opening words in Newton's letter reveal clearly a heart that was deeply sensitive to the constant presence and pull of indwelling sin. As long as Newton remained in a fallen body, though redeemed by Christ, he was not immune from the subtle onslaughts of sin's temptations. As he said with great soberness: "[sin] could obtain access...at any time, or in any place." Now because of this never ending and unrelentless force of inward corruption, Newton went on to admit with shame his own inconsistency between his words and thoughts:

I sometimes compare my words to the treble of an instrument, which my thoughts accompany with a kind of base, or rather anti-base, in which every rule of harmony is broken, every possible combination of discord and confusion is introduced, utterly inconsistent with, and contradictory to, the intended melody. Ah! what music would my praying and preaching often make in the ears of the Lord of Hosts, if he listened to them as they are mine only! By men, the upper part only (if I may so speak) is heard; and small cause there is for self-gratualtion, if they should happen to commend, when conscience tells me they would be struck with astonishment and abhorrence could they hear the whole.

How shocked would others be if they could only see what the Lord sees about each of us. Newton is telling on us all as believers. And this is not a deceptive hypocrisy Newton is describing, but just the everyday ebb and flow of a Christian's sanctifying process. What infinite patience God shows us and how lovingly He bears with all the inconsistencies of His children! His grace truly is amazing. But Newton does not finish here in his letter. He goes on to confess what is the hardest of all to admit: sinning willfully.

If this awful effect of heart-depravity cannot be wholly avoided in the present state of human nature, yet, at least, I would not allow and indulge it; yet this I find I do. In defiance of my best judgement and best wishes, I find something within me which cherishes and cleaves to those evils, from which I ought to start and flee, as I should if a toad or a serpent was put in my food or in my bed. Ah! how vile must the heart (at least my heart) be, that can hold a parley with such abominations, when I so well know their nature and their tendency.

I believe that what Newton is here confessing is what many Christians, especially in leadership, seek to cover up. Not to others only, but even to themselves. This is dangerous because there is no where sin likes to live better than in the darkness, in secret, in denial. But this is exactly where the battle is either going to be won or lost. Sin must be exposed, and if we are secretly holding on to sinful affections of any kind - they must be put to death by the sword of the Spirit with diligence, consistency, and integrity (Rom.6:11-13; 8:13; Col.3:5).

As John Newton continues in this letter, he goes on to confess how much he is "influenced by a principle of self", indulging "vain reasonings concerning the counsels, ways, and providences of God", and even at times cleaving to what he calls "a covenant of works" - whereby he feels that he should pay for what Christ has done for him. How astonishing that such feelings should arise in the heart of the man who wrote that great hymn,"Amazing Grace." And yet, before any of us should judge Newton for these sins and weaknesses of his flesh; we should first remove the log jam out of our own eye. For Newton was only revealing what is true of all Christians, even in their very best moments!

It is refreshing though at where John Newton concludes this painful letter. He writes at the end: But though my disease is grevious, it is not desperate; I have a gracious and infallible Physician. I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord." Only a Christian can understand such confidence and hope in the face of what appears so hopeless and despairing. Yes, we should be and must be realistic about indwelling sin, but that is not where we fix our eyes and live. We could not live there anyway. No, our hope and faith rests upon Christ Jesus and His saving merits that have won completely our redemption and victory over all sin - past, present, and future. With the apostle Paul, we thus all cry out, not in despair but in certainty of ultimate freedom from our present problem with sin: "O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death? I thank God - through Jesus Christ our Lord" (Rom.7:24-25a)!